How To Get Your Toddler (and older kids) To Participate In Your Portrait Session
The best advice is make it fun! If yâall are actually having fun I promise Iâll get shots youâll treasure forever.
Kids. đ€Ș Am I right? You know them, you love them, your life is ruled by them. They are little time bombs running around looking all cute and wreaking havoc on your sanity. And getting them to do what you want them to do is not an easy task. Multiply that level of difficulty by 100 and you know what itâs like trying to get them to sit still and smile for the camera. Multiply it by 1000 and thatâs what itâs like trying to get them to do it when youâve paid for a session with a photographer. Feel like tearing your hair out just thinking about it? Well donât! It can be done. And it WILL be done if I have anything do with it, goshdarnit.
Here are a few things Iâve discovered over the years that dramatically increase the probability of you getting the adorable images you dream of. Remember, every child is different and we may have to try quite a few of these tactics before we find what works, but knowing these things ahead of time instead of trying to wing it during the actual shoot, can be very helpful. Here we go -
Lower your expectations - Stop looking at the perfectly curated images on Instagram and bring it back to reality. If your expectations are lower and we DO get that Pinterest-worthy shot, fabulous! Youâll feel like a million bucks. But if we donât, you wonât be as disappointed. Plan on capturing your childâs individual personality, however chaotic it may be. Be at peace with the craziness and accept who they are. Acceptance is the first step after all. đ
Be silly and let them do their thing. She was a ball of energy and we danced and partied our butts off. Seriously, I donât think she stopped moving for one second!
2. Give your photographer the reigns - This is what we signed up to do. This is what we LOVE to do! You may know your child best but we know them all. Weâve worked with shy ones, crazy ones, mean ones, cuddly ones, goofy ones, you name it. And we know how to handle them all. But the kicker here is that your child knows YOU and knows how to push your buttons, but they donât know your photographer (at least not as well as they know you). They are going to be a little off their game in this new environment and having the new adult take charge is sometimes all it takes for them to behave how we want them toâŠat least temporarily. So if you are going to be in the photos, allow your photographer to tell you what to do (where and how to stand, look here, sit there) and your little one will đ€đ» follow in your footsteps and follow directions as well. If you are NOT going to be in the photos, step back and hush. Did I just tell you to hush? đ€Šââïž Iâm not being rude, I promise. But they canât follow 2 to 3 people all telling them what to do at the same timeâŠand I know what I need them to do to get the shot, so let me have a crack at it first.
Some serious Photoshop compositing here, Cheerios, toys, and a little bit of luck.
Let me give you a few scenarios to explain how this will play out:
Your little guy is super shy and starts to cry from the start. We will start real slow. Iâll put my camera down and weâll all sit and chat and play and I will work hard to gain his trust. If he likes me heâll be more likely to do what I want him to do. And hopefully heâll like me because all I want to do (as far as he knows) is PLAY. Then weâll ease in to the photo-taking, heâll warm up to the whole idea, and weâll have a great shoot. This has been happening more often lately because of COVID and them not getting as much socialization as before. So we really have to take it slow. It could be that, it could just be an off day, teething, hungry, tired. If we know itâs one of those and can fix it, great. And I wonât lie, Iâve had a session or two that no way in hell was going to happen. If this is the case we will reschedule and maybe try a different time of day or a different setting. It happens. đ€·ââïž
Your baby girl is a little shy, seems willing to participate, but wonât smile or look at the camera. This is where the âhushâ part comes in. Suzy is in a new place, in new clothes, with new people and a big flashing light, and so much new stuff going on. She does not need music, squeaky toys, Mom on one side of me and Dad on the other, both excitedly telling her to look here and smile. Itâs waaaaay too overwhelming and three things will happen: 1) she will continue to be over-stimulated and almost in shock and maybe start to cry 2) you will get more and more frustrated and 3) I will go deaf from the damn pig squeaking in my left ear. đ« Give her a few minutes to get her bearings and for ME to gain her friendship and use my tricks and goofiness to get the smiles we want. And if we go for a bit and that doesnât work, THEN Iâll call in the troops to try some silly shenanigans behind me. But please, for the love of all that is holyâŠ.one at a time! And if she doesnât smile after the first squeak or two I guarantee sheâs not going to smile after the 20th so please staaaaaahp, thank you. đ
First shot is the beginning of the shoot when she was being shy (and adorable), then peek-a-boo started and the real smiles came out!
Your 3 year old is a future class clown and is super happy but too wound up to cooperate. It will quickly become a game to avoid doing what we want them to do so we need to trick them and make them want to do what we want them to do. Again, step back and let your photographer take control. Itâs ok to play for a bit! We donât need to get the best shots in the beginning. So Iâll have them dance, jump, play peek-a-boo, make silly faces, whatever is currently floating their boat. And I will take pictures of them doing it. Then Iâll sneak in a second where I know itâll be a great shot and Iâll grab it. For instance, one that almost always works with 3 year olds and up. âHow high can you jump?â Kid jumps and I snap. âWOW that was so high, letâs do it again.â Kid jumps and I snap. âAWESOME! One more timeâŠ.hold on (pretends to fiddle with camera and kid anxiously waits to jump again, has a big smile on their face and I snap) BAM! Great shot. Kid jumps again and weâre all having fun AND I got the shot without them even realizing it. And then weâll move on to something else fun to get another great shot. Rinse and repeat.
One of my favorites - swinging! But the key is to swing, put down, slowly count to 3 and build excitement for the next swing, I capture the smile, and THEN you swing again. And if weâre lucky we get a cute action shot too.
You bring your toddler to your newborn session and canât wait to get the sweet picture of him hold her and kissing her on the head. Awwwww đ„° Buuut, Johnny wants absolutely NOTHING to do with her and wonât even go near her. The babyâs safety is most important so if he flails around kicking and screaming we do not want to keep trying to get him to lie down next to her or hold her in his lap. Having mom, dad, and me asking him to do this is going to annoy him more and exacerbate the situation. Whoever is calmest should try to do it and if that doesnât work we should move on. I feel like this usually happens because big brother is jealous of the attention the new baby is getting, so he acts out. With these little guys I work really hard to pay him attention with nothing to do with the baby. Play games, offer a piece of candy, just talk and show interest in him. And then when weâre buddies hopefully heâll do what I want him to do. Bribes work too. I can work some magic with a couple of Smarties. But if thatâs not working itâs time to bring in the big gun - Photoshop! I have several tricks to get photos of the two of them individually and combine them together to get a sweet photo. Itâs better than nothing, right? RememberâŠlower expectations. đđ»
You show up for your family mini session and nobody really wants to be there except you. Donât get angry with the kids and keep (sternly) telling them to smile. IF they do, itâs going to look forced and youâre not going to be happy. Again, give me the reigns, let me tell yâall to do some silly things, have a little fun, loosen up, let me gain their friendship and THEN weâll get the photos youâll love. This doesnât always work with dads though so you may need to do a little bribing with him, wink wink. đ
Pretty sure sheâs eating a smartie here, and the baby isnât even thereâŠI Photoshopped her in after the fact.
3. Schedule the session according to the childâs needs - Nap time is not a good time. No more words needed. Dinner time - not a good time. We want the kiddos to be well-rested with full bellies. Bring snacks if you need to but make them small and not messy. Cheerios and puffs are great, fruit and chocolate not so much. If the little guy is teething and miserable and/or really having an off day, please call and reschedule. I have absolutely no problem rescheduling a session. I do it all of the time. And if we have a session and it just doesnât work out for whatever unknown reason, I will happily offer a re-shoot. But, if we spend an hour unsuccessfully trying to get photos and THEN you tell me he didnât nap, hasnât eaten yet, is teething and had a fever last night, I will need to charge for another session.
He was ALL about the snacks!
4. Do something different. Every mom wants a framable photo of that precious happy face. We beg and plead for them to sit still, look into the camera and smile for real. But thatâs really really reallllllly hard for toddlers and preschoolers to do. You canât reason with them. Bribes may or may not work. And they just arenât going to do what they donât want to do. So do something different. Go to a park, schedule a session around their favorite activity, introduce them to something new and exciting. While weâre exploring and doing exciting things Iâll be able to manipulate things so that we can still get that posed family shot you really want without forcing anything. Let me work my magic. âš
We all had a blast doing a session at the candy store downtown. Not one objection for a whole hour. @ Big Top Candy Shop, Austin, TX
Let them explore!
Let them be silly. I want them to make a funny face! That way I can get the real smile when theyâre done.
Whereâs your nose? Show me your ears? Go pflttttttt (thatâs me blowing raspberries) đ. And of course the old classic, peek-a-boo.
So, TLDR - Let your photographer take the lead. All you really need to do is enjoy yourself and help out when she asks you to. Sounds pretty easy, huh? Letâs schedule a session and try it out!
Love,
Jessica đ
He was a happy guy and liked making silly faces and Iâm a boss at clicking at the right time. (not so humble brag) đ
