How To Get Your Toddler (and older kids) To Participate In Your Portrait Session

The best advice is make it fun! If y’all are actually having fun I promise I’ll get shots you’ll treasure forever.

Kids. 🤪 Am I right? You know them, you love them, your life is ruled by them. They are little time bombs running around looking all cute and wreaking havoc on your sanity. And getting them to do what you want them to do is not an easy task. Multiply that level of difficulty by 100 and you know what it’s like trying to get them to sit still and smile for the camera. Multiply it by 1000 and that’s what it’s like trying to get them to do it when you’ve paid for a session with a photographer. Feel like tearing your hair out just thinking about it? Well don’t! It can be done. And it WILL be done if I have anything do with it, goshdarnit.

Here are a few things I’ve discovered over the years that dramatically increase the probability of you getting the adorable images you dream of. Remember, every child is different and we may have to try quite a few of these tactics before we find what works, but knowing these things ahead of time instead of trying to wing it during the actual shoot, can be very helpful. Here we go -

1. Lower your expectations - Stop looking at the perfectly curated images on Instagram and bring it back to reality. If your expectations are lower and we DO get that Pinterest-worthy shot, fabulous! You’ll feel like a million bucks. But if we don’t, you won’t be as disappointed. Plan on capturing your child’s individual personality, however chaotic it may be. Be at peace with the craziness and accept who they are. Acceptance is the first step after all. 😝

Be silly and let them do their thing. She was a ball of energy and we danced and partied our butts off. Seriously, I don’t think she stopped moving for one second!

2. Give your photographer the reigns - This is what we signed up to do. This is what we LOVE to do! You may know your child best but we know them all. We’ve worked with shy ones, crazy ones, mean ones, cuddly ones, goofy ones, you name it. And we know how to handle them all. But the kicker here is that your child knows YOU and knows how to push your buttons, but they don’t know your photographer (at least not as well as they know you). They are going to be a little off their game in this new environment and having the new adult take charge is sometimes all it takes for them to behave how we want them to…at least temporarily. So if you are going to be in the photos, allow your photographer to tell you what to do (where and how to stand, look here, sit there) and your little one will 🤞🏻 follow in your footsteps and follow directions as well. If you are NOT going to be in the photos, step back and hush. Did I just tell you to hush? 🤦‍♀️ I’m not being rude, I promise. But they can’t follow 2 to 3 people all telling them what to do at the same time…and I know what I need them to do to get the shot, so let me have a crack at it first.

Some serious Photoshop compositing here, Cheerios, toys, and a little bit of luck.

Let me give you a few scenarios to explain how this will play out:

• Your little guy is super shy and starts to cry from the start. We will start real slow. I’ll put my camera down and we’ll all sit and chat and play and I will work hard to gain his trust. If he likes me he’ll be more likely to do what I want him to do. And hopefully he’ll like me because all I want to do (as far as he knows) is PLAY. Then we’ll ease in to the photo-taking, he’ll warm up to the whole idea, and we’ll have a great shoot. This has been happening more often lately because of COVID and them not getting as much socialization as before. So we really have to take it slow. It could be that, it could just be an off day, teething, hungry, tired. If we know it’s one of those and can fix it, great. And I won’t lie, I’ve had a session or two that no way in hell was going to happen. If this is the case we will reschedule and maybe try a different time of day or a different setting. It happens. 🤷‍♀️

• Your baby girl is a little shy, seems willing to participate, but won’t smile or look at the camera. This is where the ‘hush’ part comes in. Suzy is in a new place, in new clothes, with new people and a big flashing light, and so much new stuff going on. She does not need music, squeaky toys, Mom on one side of me and Dad on the other, both excitedly telling her to look here and smile. It’s waaaaay too overwhelming and three things will happen: 1) she will continue to be over-stimulated and almost in shock and maybe start to cry 2) you will get more and more frustrated and 3) I will go deaf from the damn pig squeaking in my left ear. 😫 Give her a few minutes to get her bearings and for ME to gain her friendship and use my tricks and goofiness to get the smiles we want. And if we go for a bit and that doesn’t work, THEN I’ll call in the troops to try some silly shenanigans behind me. But please, for the love of all that is holy….one at a time! And if she doesn’t smile after the first squeak or two I guarantee she’s not going to smile after the 20th so please staaaaaahp, thank you. 😍

First shot is the beginning of the shoot when she was being shy (and adorable), then peek-a-boo started and the real smiles came out!

• Your 3 year old is a future class clown and is super happy but too wound up to cooperate. It will quickly become a game to avoid doing what we want them to do so we need to trick them and make them want to do what we want them to do. Again, step back and let your photographer take control. It’s ok to play for a bit! We don’t need to get the best shots in the beginning. So I’ll have them dance, jump, play peek-a-boo, make silly faces, whatever is currently floating their boat. And I will take pictures of them doing it. Then I’ll sneak in a second where I know it’ll be a great shot and I’ll grab it. For instance, one that almost always works with 3 year olds and up. ‘How high can you jump?’ Kid jumps and I snap. ‘WOW that was so high, let’s do it again.’ Kid jumps and I snap. “AWESOME! One more time….hold on (pretends to fiddle with camera and kid anxiously waits to jump again, has a big smile on their face and I snap) BAM! Great shot. Kid jumps again and we’re all having fun AND I got the shot without them even realizing it. And then we’ll move on to something else fun to get another great shot. Rinse and repeat.

One of my favorites - swinging! But the key is to swing, put down, slowly count to 3 and build excitement for the next swing, I capture the smile, and THEN you swing again. And if we’re lucky we get a cute action shot too.

• You bring your toddler to your newborn session and can’t wait to get the sweet picture of him hold her and kissing her on the head. Awwwww 🥰 Buuut, Johnny wants absolutely NOTHING to do with her and won’t even go near her. The baby’s safety is most important so if he flails around kicking and screaming we do not want to keep trying to get him to lie down next to her or hold her in his lap. Having mom, dad, and me asking him to do this is going to annoy him more and exacerbate the situation. Whoever is calmest should try to do it and if that doesn’t work we should move on. I feel like this usually happens because big brother is jealous of the attention the new baby is getting, so he acts out. With these little guys I work really hard to pay him attention with nothing to do with the baby. Play games, offer a piece of candy, just talk and show interest in him. And then when we’re buddies hopefully he’ll do what I want him to do. Bribes work too. I can work some magic with a couple of Smarties. But if that’s not working it’s time to bring in the big gun - Photoshop! I have several tricks to get photos of the two of them individually and combine them together to get a sweet photo. It’s better than nothing, right? Remember…lower expectations. 👍🏻

• You show up for your family mini session and nobody really wants to be there except you. Don’t get angry with the kids and keep (sternly) telling them to smile. IF they do, it’s going to look forced and you’re not going to be happy. Again, give me the reigns, let me tell y’all to do some silly things, have a little fun, loosen up, let me gain their friendship and THEN we’ll get the photos you’ll love. This doesn’t always work with dads though so you may need to do a little bribing with him, wink wink. 😉

Pretty sure she’s eating a smartie here, and the baby isn’t even there…I Photoshopped her in after the fact.

3. Schedule the session according to the child’s needs - Nap time is not a good time. No more words needed. Dinner time - not a good time. We want the kiddos to be well-rested with full bellies. Bring snacks if you need to but make them small and not messy. Cheerios and puffs are great, fruit and chocolate not so much. If the little guy is teething and miserable and/or really having an off day, please call and reschedule. I have absolutely no problem rescheduling a session. I do it all of the time. And if we have a session and it just doesn’t work out for whatever unknown reason, I will happily offer a re-shoot. But, if we spend an hour unsuccessfully trying to get photos and THEN you tell me he didn’t nap, hasn’t eaten yet, is teething and had a fever last night, I will need to charge for another session.

He was ALL about the snacks!

4. Do something different. Every mom wants a framable photo of that precious happy face. We beg and plead for them to sit still, look into the camera and smile for real. But that’s really really reallllllly hard for toddlers and preschoolers to do. You can’t reason with them. Bribes may or may not work. And they just aren’t going to do what they don’t want to do. So do something different. Go to a park, schedule a session around their favorite activity, introduce them to something new and exciting. While we’re exploring and doing exciting things I’ll be able to manipulate things so that we can still get that posed family shot you really want without forcing anything. Let me work my magic. ✨

We all had a blast doing a session at the candy store downtown. Not one objection for a whole hour. @ Big Top Candy Shop, Austin, TX

Let them explore!

Let them be silly. I want them to make a funny face! That way I can get the real smile when they’re done.

Where’s your nose? Show me your ears? Go pflttttttt (that’s me blowing raspberries) 😝. And of course the old classic, peek-a-boo.

So, TLDR - Let your photographer take the lead. All you really need to do is enjoy yourself and help out when she asks you to. Sounds pretty easy, huh? Let’s schedule a session and try it out!

Love,

Jessica 💜

He was a happy guy and liked making silly faces and I’m a boss at clicking at the right time. (not so humble brag) 😎